Funny Jokes

Blondes

funnyjokes — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:24:10 GMT

Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?

Finger on chin I don't know.

Hits forehead Oh I get it!

Blondes

funnyjokes — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:23:42 GMT

Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first
blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the otherblonde,
"Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can't swim.
Please tell me how you did this!"
The second blonde then says, " But you ARE on the otherside!"

Situations

funnyjokes — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:23:15 GMT

Prostitute walks into a bar and asks the bar man for two Bacardi's and
coke. Bar man serves her and notices that she drinks one and empties the
other one down her panties. Now this happened another three times and the
bar man was getting rather curious. The bar man nicely questions her and
asks her why she is drinking one Barcardi and coke and throwing the other
one down her panties. She replies, "I just won the lottery and that's the
only cunt getting a drink out of me tonight!"

Marriage and Relationships

funnyjokes — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:54:44 GMT

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to
purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a
television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" I
asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I
figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

A Sexy Joke

funnyjokes — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:54:15 GMT

Q: Why are women so bad at mathematics?
A: Because men keep telling them that this
|<---------------------->|
is 12 inches.

A Joke about Men

funnyjokes — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:53:37 GMT

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Miscellaneous

funnyjokes — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 04:52:55 GMT

Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrower approached his
neighbor, "Ray, may I borrow your axe?"

"Not today," Ray replied, "I have to make soup."

"What kind of excuse it that?!" demanded Joe.

"Well," confessed Ray, "I admit its a lousy excuse. But, if I
don't want to loan you my axe, one excuse is as good as
another."

Joke

funnyjokes — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:47:05 GMT

Australia.
Where men are real men
And sheep are scared shitless

And where the term 'Going Down Under' means something entirely different

Science Related

funnyjokes — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:46:36 GMT

If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that
there is an exception to every rule.
If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we
must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule
states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow
it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception to
the rule that for every rule there is an exception.

Roads and Driving

funnyjokes — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:46:05 GMT

There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was
   driving when a
   police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and
   says "Did you
   know you were speeding back there." The lady (who is almost deaf) said
   to her husband
   "What did he say, what did he say?" The man turns to his wife and said
   "He said I was
   speeding." The officer then said "Where are you from?" The man replied
   "Chicago" The
   wife then says "What did he say, what did he say?" The man turns to
   his wife and said,
   "He wanted to know where we came from." The officer then said "Shit,
   you know, I had
   my worst fuck ever in Chicago." The lady then says "What did he say,
   what did he say?"
   The man turns back and says "He says he thinks he knows you."